Home / Latest Postings / We are the Chief Justice, give way – We must  address the nation.

We are the Chief Justice, give way – We must  address the nation.

Disclaimer: Let my people vent and feel how other meat eaters feel. We are the Chifu Chasitisi. Innuendos and arguments from enemies of development dismissed and case closed.

My fellow Kisiis. perched pretty on a three legged stool of power, I swat some reckless flies landing on my face without any iota of knowledge that we are now Chief Justice and la presidente of the Supreme Court. We cough the judiciary gets ill.

Once our appointment is gazzeted; of which I am certain it will, such flies will face a death sentence for disrespecting power. Case closed.

My fellow firechas from Nyamataro to Bochi, from Kegogi to Kineni, from Bombo to Eramani, having been honored with such a kingly post, (we are used to paramount chiefs), I order each and every one of you to summon his appetite under CAP 237 of the meat eating code, section 2 and sit confidently at the high table, wash your hands and lets merry with other meat eaters. We officially join the MEAK (Meat Eaters Association of Kenya)

Under certificate of urgency we as a community file an affidavit and demand that the Supreme Court elevate our status and seniority in the Government pecking order. Common sense dictates that, since we lead one of the three arms of the Government, we should peck before other tribes peck prima facie.

Procedural fairness demands that in future, our businesses should, and must be treated with decorum and prejiprudence that comes with our new status ratio decidendi.

justice-david-magaraAs a widely known fact, we are the monopoly of selling sugar cane in every dingy corner of the city. It is time that we get descent premises where we will be operating from. Having widely consulted, and settled on the high court parking space in the city center, we expect  a warehouse cum depot to come up anytime immediately H.E Justice Maraga is sworn in.

In fact, his first landmark ruling should be on converting Uhuru park to an Embasavva Matatu terminus and elevate all our security agents whom you carelessly call watchmen to KDFSoldiers.

A few will be absorbed into the elite Recce Squad under section 167 of the penal code.

Well, lets now wake up and smell the coffee. This political stereotyping planted by KANU should just let us think and move forward.

It is absolute bull crap when a whole village or even the whole of Kisii bursts into frenzy coz a Kisii has been appointed CJ. The shit gets gigantic when Jubilee friendly politicians STINK it out that they negotiated the appointment of Chief Justice from Kisii. Curse them idiots.

My research points to a scenario where more than 99.999% of Kisiis have no idea how the CJ designate rose to apply for the job, leave alone being picked.

You got no idea the cravings his mother underwent while carrying him for 9 months. You got no idea how he braved the morning chill down-hill from his home in Bosose to Sironga primary every morning on bare buttocks. You have no idea how he battled tape worms in his childhood. You have no idea how he escaped a kwashiorkor attack; although he seems he almost lost the battle to the big-tummy, big-head symptoms like monster. You have no idea how many girlfriends rejected him and he found solace in books of law and the church. You have no idea how campus girls laughed at him coz he was such a village brat who could not take them to the disco, but he stuck to his Adventist conservative religion and the “forgive them because they don’t know what they are doing idiom. You have no idea how they sneered at him coz his pronunciation of English and Swahili terms was greatly interfered by his mother tongue. Thank God he is now the Chifu Chasitisi.

You got no idea how he raised his school fees. While he was struggling with his LLM, you were twerking your rear end silly in a disco. You now want to associate with him coz you are Kisii.

Priss let the good man be and mind your own Kisii business. Let his wife and children enjoy the sweat of their husband and dad.

Fact is, his appointment is national and it has nothing to do with your Kisii. Kama unauza miwa Kawangware, kanjo akupate ukiuza miwa in town coz we are the Chief Chastisi, you will go to jail. If you drive our Kabanguare and Embasavva matatus carelessly, you will face the full force of the law, if you feel like Onyancha and want to serialise your killing, he will ensure you are quickly handed your death sentence according to laws of the country.

Now stick that ass out of the “we are the chief chastisi” limbo and get back to work the honeymoon is over yusuresi.


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