Home / Latest Postings / Nyamira is Kenya’s dullest backward place. Silas Nyanchwani barks – I disagree.

Nyamira is Kenya’s dullest backward place. Silas Nyanchwani barks – I disagree.

Right to reply, to Silas Nyanchwani’s raw busaa laced article on the Nairobian, page 17.

Ever since my cousin Silas Nyanchwani came back from the US, I have realised he is on a downward trend. I noted this when he landed and started threatening people to buy him Samosa. He was schooling yes, so we forgive him he might have landed quite broke.

nyanchwaniBut he took a nose-dive when he twerked and literary rattled the peaceful people of Nyamira. Aye Silas, you can’t take refuge in the US for 9 months insinuating to be studying on how to hold a camera, only to reappear with a fake accent dismissing your kinsmen from Nyamira. Or did you contract Trumpdiocis? You sound like Trump who keeps calling Hillary evil while his wife’s nude photos are leaking by the day. Your case has postive symptoms of a running mouth? How dare you say that Nyamira contributes nothing to the Kenyan economy, when our sons own such fleet of vehicles like Nyamira express, Guadian Angel and Kisii Classic!

In your article I realized you were comparing Nyamira and Kisii. You said Nyamira has nothing to write home about. You forgot to think allilo bir further to realise that if Nyachae withdraws his investment from Kisii you will only remain with Sungu Sungu.

You claimed that burning of witches is rampant in Nyamira. Good journalism demands that you gather your facts right before you jump on the keyboard like a mounting warthog. But you chose not to. Let me take the pain to educate you coz we don’t want to lose you to ignorance and foolishness. Click on these links to understand that all cases of lynching have been reported from Kisii.

So you even had to say that we are wife batterers? On this one I don’t want to comment until you calm down. It is either a lady from Nyamira rejected you, or a smart man from Nyamira sliced you your chic. Case closed.

Next, you claimed that if you ever heard elderly Kisii men talking vulgar, those are mostly come from Nyamira and especially Kitutu Masaba. Well, I don’t know whether you have been going around asking them to produce their IDs to ascertain your IPSOSdiotic surveys. When you mentioned such a silly statement, I realized you are not the problem but your poor upbringing had everything to do with you hating Nyamiracans for no good reason. And you have been shouting yourself silly, asking Kenyans to unite when you are talking rubbish about your immediate neighbors, eubi eye!

You went ahead to claim that Nyamira County has not offered any celebrity or famous person except Ringtone and the late George Anyona. Young man you are very ignorant and this is as a result of taking raw busaa. But to clear the doubt let me mention this. Senior Counsel Ken Ogeto who’s work at the ICC and International Criminal tribunal for Rwanda will stagger or blow your little mind, is from Nyamira. His other learned colleagues from the region like Okong’o O’Mogeni and Harun Ndubi receive salutes whenever they stand in court to remove pure legal jargon straight from the nose. Have you ever heard of Henry Onyancha Obwocha “Egesora Nyabirore” from Igena Itambe, Nyamira County? Ama do you know CS, Mating’I from Borabu, Nyamira County? Well, Nyamiracans are humble people I can’t mention all our big men and women out there lest Witches from Suneka, Kisii county get wind of it and bewitch them.

You said our Musicians are useless? Well that is absurd coz Henry Sagero has been performing at state functions while you have NEVER been invited to even do a poem for the DO during Madaraka day celebrations. Bana Sungusia was in the US long before u stepped there. Without Nyamira musicians, Esagasaga night is just but a collection of night runners from Kisii County. (Listening to Omosiki ne eriogo on youtube)

As for the matatu crews, I can’t comment lest my kin hear about it and ban me from travelling in their matatus. But lazima ukue kichwa ngumu and smoke something small to shout beba beba 16 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365.

Wahenga walisema “Mgema akisifiwa, tembo ulitia maji”. I agree. Ever since you got it right on mukimo, you jacked it out and started urinating on your very creative mind.

DISCLAIMER: Silas Nyanchwani is one of the best creative writers we have around. Only that this time round, he took raw busaa and churned out such a useless piece.

Kisii county leadership is laced with a battalion of Tumbocrats anyway.

You have to apologize or make sure you don’t step in Nyamira the rest of your life. {Photo circulated}

 

Yours truly

Chairman LFAK (Lethal Firechas Association of Kenya)

Nyamiracan

About Edwin Kamanda

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