Home / Latest Postings / Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child. If you dont fix these Rascals, they will fix you.

Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child. If you dont fix these Rascals, they will fix you.

According to the good book, around page 673, Proverbs 13:24 says, I read “Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.” Then >>fast forward>> to Wahengas who definitely under the influence, contributed their wit to the echelons of wisdom. I am reliably informed that, a couple of years ago, after downing a few cups of pangwan, one of them belched and roared “Wise ones, if we are to save this young generation from destroying themselves, lazima kila mtu awe akitembea na bakora. So as to be able to administer instant justice whenever you deem that the rascal you came across has gone against the doctrines of our land, you have to walk around carrying a bakora”. And so they armed themselves with bakoras. Or have u ever seen a mzungu walk around with those bakoras our elderly folks carry around in fireches? And oh yes, the mzees were more wise coz they ensured the bakoraz had a hook just in case a rascal tried to outrun them.

Well, I am not a history teacher, let’s dive to the matter at hand. These spoilt brats burning schools left right and center, is as a result of our making.

We have borrowed fake policies from mzunguz and have implemented them in our society and perched ourselves pretty as we watch our schools burn.

For instance why the hell did we ban corporal punishments in schools? This is a mzungu thing and perfectly serves them.

Mzungu kids don’t need to be punished to tow the line of discipline coz theirs is a clean breed. By a clean breed I mean their blood is made of plasma, white blood cells, red blood cells and platelets, and NOTHING else. (Phew! Is that me defining blood? I tell you I missed medical school by a WHISKEY). So mzunguz raise clean kids that is why they banned corporal banishment.

So what happens in Africa? We raise rascals who are genetically engineered to be chaotic. Or how do you handle the case of a kid who was conceived the day his father returned from a long week busaa drinking spree? Genetically the kid is wired with contents of pure busaa. Then it happens that his grandfather was the firechi weed smoking champion, so the tools of trade are passed down to the bouncing rascal. Then the kid grows pinching his grandfather’s weed, then he realizes that corporal punishment is a crime, then he grows whistling to Culture’s phenomenon song of There is a land, far far away, it is called Addis abaaaba. And then Bob Marley is his role model and then he knows corporal punishment is a crime! Mtu wangu the only entity that can stop such a character from burning a school is Satan himself.

Parents of Itierio High School Demonstrating.

This same rascal who at the age of 15 can drown a 300 ml bottle of chang’aa in a flash, is the same rascal who cautiously sips a cup of tea for 20 minutes and his mother is like “Daddy inakuchoma nikupoeshee?. Come on parents.

I am not going to mention the kind of punishment that we received from parents coz I am not beyond getting punished. I can be summoned at my elders’ pleasure, and get whacked proper for bad mouthing them. So I will only talk of school punishment.

Well, during my time, our Deputy Headmaster Mr. Charles Machuki Ongeri, who doubled as the discipline master used to walk around the school compound at night carrying a sword, a nyahunyo and a chebunyo accompanied by 3 boarding masters who were equally armed. And not that they were hunting for cattle rustlers, but looking for rascals breaking wind in class or continuously coughing disturbing others who were busy studying. Mr George Gecheo (May his soul rest in peace) on the other hand, during the day used to walk around with avocado seeds in his pockets that he would aim at students who were perceived to be doing something wrong. Once he aims he never used to miss his target. We had Gichohi who used all manner of weapons to discipline us. If he misses a horse pipe, he would use kicks and blows or a hammer, a knife anything to make sure that amekutoa damu kidogo so that the concentration of illegal substances in your blood system goes down. He was a chemistry and biology teacher, so I presume he knew what he was doing. We had Peter Kirenge who once cornered me outside the Chemistry lab, took me to the staffroom, unleashed six very strong ones on me and asked “Ni makosa gani umefanya?” I told him none. He told me “Just go to class next time ukifanya makosa I will not punish you, that is called advance punishment in this school”. I walked away with bonga points to go and make noise in class.

Then there is this case where Machogu Omanga spent the entire week limping, and we asked him what happened. This is what he told us “Yaa gose Ongeri onkururete gochi obisi agasoki ehockey stick agankenya kweri kweri. Onye ntaminchoreti yaa anga Mortuary nkare” Loosely translated as “The Deputy HM dragged me to his office and using a hockey stick he clobbered me proper. Had I not ran away, I would be in the Morgue by now”. Na ukimaliziwa lazima useme AHSANTE. And we never torched any school property. The only things we used to burn are cigarettes. Gose bono Memba Ben, Onsongo Vincent, Villagomezz Manwari, Arang’a David, Innocent Omwenga, Nelson Atina, Bob Nyamwaya, Anto Estock Epande na wachomaji wengine? We were properly clobbered, and we dint die, neither did we turn badly. We have Doctors, Engineers, Lawyers and the rest of us from the Corporal Punishment regime, and we are properly running the country towards vision 2030 with the economy growing at double digits, whatever that nonsense means.

Well, my point is, without Corporal Punishment, this rascals will continue frying school property. An African kid without punishment is vanity. Just like their parents who can’t file tax returns if the Garment doesn’t threaten them with fines.

I am attending an annual weekly dowry negotiations summit, so I have to dash to go and prepare.

Happy Sabbath thugs and have a fireful weekend.

If you don’t fix these kids, they will fix you. Hizo shule nyinyi ndio mtajenga.



About Edwin Kamanda

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